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Eve fell first, but Adam fell further. Well, that may not be entirely true, but it seems that way much of the time. Maybe I simply know men better, being one myself. Many men remind me of Nabal (1 Sam. 25), stumbling around in a haze, not deserving the Abigails God gives us.

That’s not to say Christian men are in an ignorant haze. The Scriptures clearly promote husbands who live life striving for the best good of their wives. They live in a way that brings order, spiritual growth, protection, and usefulness to the kingdom for themselves, their wives, and their families. The haze is not a matter of the Bible not being clear about manhood.

Peter says we are “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). Husbands and wives are, in many very practical ways, joint heirs of the resources the Lord has entrusted to them—spiritual and material resources. This leads to the fact that the husband has a serious interest in helping his wife fulfill her stewardship to its fullest. His success as a Christian is tied directly to hers. The two share a single call, according to Peter: to be wise stewards of the gifts of God.

We men don’t like to spend much time in the women’s department of the local mega-store. But the godly man will spend time in the Scripture passages that address women, with the intention of assisting his wife to fulfill her spiritual role in a way pleasing to God. He will take an abiding interest in the ways she lives, serves, and worships so that her rewards here and later might be the greater. Such a husband will rejoice in helping his wife receive the “well done” of the Lord, as described in Matthew 25. She is both a fellow worker in the kingdom and the object of her husband’s spiritual work. He will watch over her to guard her from sin and encourage her on to holiness. And at the finish line, he will present her as a beautiful gift to the Lord. It will be a time of rejoicing in heaven for them all.

That may seem like a little too much for those of us who have too much “Nabal” in our lives. It may sound alien to us to describe our responsibilities to our spouses in such “spiritual” terms. Perhaps we should ask ourselves why this sounds so alien, why family worship sounds so bizarre, why we feel so detached from the idea of being the spiritual leaders of our homes, why this article sounds so quaint.

God has called us to love and develop our wives, and though He has not directly called women to do the same, our wives certainly impact our spiritual lives. He has given us the gifts to grow as individuals and as a team. This “team” aspect of spiritual development is very strange to Western ears, but two people partnering to build the kingdom is God’s plan for a godly family.

Role of the Husband

The Husband Cherishes

Keep Reading Paragon of Preachers: Charles H. Spurgeon

From the October 2001 Issue
Oct 2001 Issue