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Ephesians 5:22–33
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church” (Eph. 5:25a).
Husbands are given an enormous burden that no man ever has performed completely or perfectly: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.”
“Love your wives” sounds simple enough. Yet the word love is much confused and sentimentalized. We tend to understand it as a sentiment or feeling that bubbles out of our hearts, or as something involuntary, something that happens to us. But the Biblical concept of love is not passive. The word functions in Scripture more as a verb than a noun. We see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 13, which extensively describes what love does and does not do. The clear lesson is that love has to do with behavior. Thus, perhaps a better way to translate Paul’s injunction to husbands is this: “Husbands, be loving toward your wives.” When husbands treat their wives lovingly, whether or not romantic feelings are present, they are fulfilling the Biblical mandate.
The great challenge of Paul’s charge has to do with the degree to which he calls husbands to love their wives. In the Old Testament, Israel is said to be wedded to God; in the New Testament, the church is called the bride of Christ. However, God’s people are always less than faithful, committing “harlotry” against their loving Bridegroom. But God responds by dying for His bride, taking her pain, and assuming her sin. His goal is to do everything necessary to “present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” Husbands are called to manifest the same love for their wives, a deep love indeed. And yet, this is only a particular application of Jesus’ command to all Christians to love one another to this degree (John 13:34).
When God calls the husband to be the head and the wife to submit to him, He is merely giving a division of labor, assigning different responsibilities. He is not declaring me woman to be inferior. There is submission even within the Trinity—Christ submits to the Father to carry out the redemptive task, and the Holy Spirit submits to both Father and Son—but there is no inferiority in these relationships. In the same way, the husband must see his wife as an equal and must regard his status as the head not as a perk but as a responsibility, a call to work for the good of the woman with whom he has been blessed.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Women sometimes say they do not want to be put on a pedestal and admired. But Christ puts His bride on a pedestal; He is working to make her the best she can be. Husband, do you treat your wife this way? Do you do all you can to advance her sanctification? Let your love for her flow out in her upbuilding.
For Further Study
- Song of Songs 1:15
- Song of Songs 4:1, 7
- Song of Songs 7:6
- Colossians 1:22