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Ephesians 5:22–33
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church” (Eph. 5:22–23a).
Paul’s admonition that wives submit to their husbands is offensive to many women today. Some reject it categorically, while others strive to obey it amid doubts and struggles. Like the charge given to husbands (“love your wives”), this is certainly not an easy calling.
Just as he attaches a degree to his charge that husbands love their wives (“as Christ also loved the church”), Paul here attaches a degree to wives’ submission (“as to the Lord”). Wives, in other words, are to submit to their human husbands just as they should to Christ. The church, as we know, is to acknowledge Christ’s Lordship in all of life. Is this, then, what Paul is saying wives must do? Yes. We see this taught clearly by the apostle Peter. He holds up Abraham’s wife, Sarah, as an example for wives in all ages, and he notes that she was submissive to her husband, obeying him and “calling him lord” (1 Peter 3:6). This does not mean that the wife is ontologically inferior to the husband; Peter says they bom are “heirs … of the grace of life” (3:7). It simply establishes a structure or chain of command for the marital relationship, the husband loving and honoring his wife (1 Peter 3:7), and the wife submitting to and respecting her husband (Eph. 5:33). It is important to note, however, that the wife must submit whether or not her husband is worthy, even if he is not a believer (1 Peter 3:1). Indeed, such submission may win him to the Gospel.
Our egalitarian culture still may argue that this structure is outdated and impractical. But Scripture has an answer for this objection, too. In 1 Peter 2:13, the apostle urges his readers to “submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake.” As we have seen, all men and women alike must submit at various points, recognizing the structures God has established for human society. He is supreme in heaven and earth, but He chooses to delegate authority. He does so first to the Son (Matt. 28:18), who further distributes it to rulers, magistrates, teachers, pastors, husbands, parents, and so forth. Their authority comes from Him, and when we recognize and submit to them we are submitting to Him, bearing witness to His ultimate authority, and bringing glory and honor to Him. Wives, therefore, should obey their husbands (even if the husbands are unworthy), for the authority in the marital relationship is decreed by Christ.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Wives, you are not bound to obey your husbands if they command you to do what God forbids or forbid you to do what He commands. But as far as you are able, you should follow the example of Christ, who submitted to the law and to the enemies of God. Ask Him to help you submit joyfully to your husband—for His sake.
For Further Study
- Proverbs 31:25
- Song of Songs 5:16
- Colossians 3:18
- Titus 2:5