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Matthew 19:1–6
“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6b).
Marriage is held in low esteem in our day. Many young couples declare that they have no need of a “piece of paper” and a wedding ceremony to cement and legitimize their relationship. They’re wrong. A traditional wedding ceremony truly legitimizes and significantly contributes to the success of a male-female relationship.
What are some of the elements of the traditional wedding ceremony? And how do they serve to cement and legitimize a relationship?
In the opening lines, the minister usually says something to this effect: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God and of these witnesses to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.” In this single line, the liturgy proclaims that a formal, sacred covenant is about to be made. It also acknowledges that an assembly is present to witness the promises of the covenant—relatives, friends, representatives of the church and the state, and God Himself. Every authority structure in creation is acknowledged to be present to witness the vows. Standing before these authorities (especially God, who knows all hearts) and before people who love them (and are loved by them) encourages the man and woman to take their solemn promises very seriously indeed. Also, by their presence these authorities and loved ones declare their approval of the relationship.
At some point early in the service, the witnesses usually are asked to state any objections they may have to the relationship of the couple. Hearing none, the minister then will ask the man and woman to formally state their intentions in the “pledging of the troth” or betrothal (“Do you take this man …? Do you take this woman …?”). When they have done so, the bride’s father “gives her away.” Then the couple make their sacred vows, pledging to remain together come what may—sickness or health, wealth or poverty—for “as long as we both shall live.” A ring ceremony may follow. Lastly the minister declares the couple married according to “the ordinance of God” and the law of the state. And he solemnly charges the guests, saying, “Whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” Thus, it is acknowledged that God has made the marriage, not man.
In its essence, the marriage ceremony focuses attention on God, who by His providence gives us this most joyous estate.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
If you are married, think back to your wedding day. Do you think your wedding laid a solid foundation for your marriage? If you are not married but hope to be some day, take your hopes to God in prayer and commit yourself to a ceremony that will honor Him and help you grasp the solemnity of the covenant of matrimony.
For Further Study
- Isaiah 62:5
- 1 Corinthians 7:10