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1 Peter 3:3–6
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (vv. 3–4).
God established the family order in creation wherein a wife is to submit to her own husband and follow his lead (Gen. 1–2; Eph. 5:22–24). Some people have argued that male headship is a product of the fall done away with by Christ. Scripture, however, explicitly grounds male headship in the created order before the fall (1 Tim. 2:12–14). Sin corrupts this order, but it does not destroy the structures that God established for creation. Therefore, the gospel does not eliminate the responsibility of wives to submit to their husbands. Moreover, this submission serves an evangelistic purpose. When a Christian wife submits to her non-Christian husband, he may begin to see the beauty of her faith (1 Peter 3:1–2). A godly wife’s submission to her husband, then, reveals that the gospel redeems and strengthens creational realities.
Expanding on his instruction to wives, Peter in today’s passage makes clear that they should focus on beauty of character. Instead of emphasizing physical loveliness through beautiful hair, jewelry, and clothing, wives should develop “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (vv. 3–4). Peter does not mean that wives have no say with their husbands. After all, Proverbs 31:10–31 notes that an excellent wife competently oversees her home and speaks wisely. The point is that wives should not be unnecessarily contentious. Dr. R.C. Sproul writes: “Incorruptible beauty is displayed in a gentle and quiet spirit, but this does not mean that a wife is prohibited from giving her opinion. Peter’s point is that a quiet spirit is not a tempestuous spirit.”
Note, however, that an emphasis on beauty of character does not mean that wives should give no attention to physical beauty. John Calvin comments: “It would be an immoderate strictness wholly to forbid neatness and elegance in clothing. If the material is said to be too sumptuous, the Lord has created it; and we know that skill in art has proceeded from him. Then Peter did not intend to condemn every sort of ornament, but the evil of vanity.” Wives (and all other women) must refrain from immodest and ostentatious dress and adornment, not from all makeup, jewelry, and so forth.
In submitting to their husbands, Christian wives imitate Sarah, who respected Abraham even into old age (1 Peter 3:5–6; see Gen. 18:12). May Christian wives fulfill their high calling.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Matthew Henry comments, “The ornaments of the body are destroyed by the moth, and perish in the using; but the grace of God, the longer we wear it, the brighter and better it is.” Physical appearance is not to be ignored, but we must emphasize development of godly character by the grace of God, and this is true not only of wives but also of all believers. True godliness never wears out.
For further study
- Psalm 119:1–8
- Proverbs 12:4
- Matthew 6:19–21
- 1 Timothy 4:7–8
The bible in a year
- 2 Kings 7–9
- John 5:1–29