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2 Samuel 13:15–22
And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar (v. 22).
A sickening thing happens after Amnon completes his crime against Tamar. His former intense desire to have her is suddenly transformed into an even more intense desire to be rid of her. His great “love” (lust) now turns to overwhelming aversion, and he orders her to leave. What are we to make of this abrupt change of attitude? “To hate the person he had abused showed that his conscience was terrified, but his heart not at all humbled,” Matthew Henry writes.
Tamar is as stunned by this sudden antipathy as by his attack. In fact, she regards it as worse, for it clearly communicates that, in Amnon’s eyes, she is merely an object fit only for his one-time use. Once again she pleads with him not to do “evil,” but once again he refuses to listen. Summoning one of the servants he dismissed earlier, he contemptuously orders him to “put this woman … away from me” and lock the door behind her, as if she is a piece of unwanted rubbish. Tamar thus finds herself turned out onto the street with no time to harness her emotions or to compose her appearance. Filled with grief and anguish, she puts ashes on her head and rips her multi-colored robe (symbolic gestures of mourning and grief), then goes weeping to her brother Absalom’s house.
Absalom and David both learn about the assault in fairly short order. Although they both react in much the same way, they both fail to take appropriate action, though for different reasons. Absalom instantly guesses what has happened, almost as if he knew of Amnon’s lust. He is filled with hate for Amnon, but he bides his time and does not reveal that he knows. He counsels Tamar to hold her peace, implying that he will handle the matter, and urges her not to take it to heart (she apparently cannot follow this advice, for she remains “desolate” in Absalom’s house). As for David, he is said to be “very angry,” but there is no record that he takes any action, perhaps because he is overly permissive toward his children or perhaps because the memory of his own sin with Bathsheba makes him hesitant to call others to account. Still, David has a responsibility to uphold justice in Israel, and Absalom can employ available legal means to bring Amnon to justice. But David simply refuses to act against his firstborn son, and Absalom chooses to take matters into his own hands.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Relationships are always a threat to the exercise of authority, whether in the state, the church, the workplace, or the home. Church leaders are especially prone to the temptation to withhold discipline from loved ones. Pray that your church leaders will exercise discipline when it is needed, for the glory of God and the restoration of sinners.