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For many people, the pull to isolationism is strong. It’s just safer to be alone, to stay home, or to be with those whom we know well. Being with others means we’re susceptible to a host of dangers. Perhaps we hide behind the excuse that we’re introverted. Fellowship and community are draining. Yet the New Testament in sundry ways highlights the importance of Christian fellowship. For example, the picture that we get of the Apostolic church is one of deep, regular fellowship: “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers” (Acts 2:42). It’s no coincidence that their fellowship fueled holiness (v. 43), mutual care (vv. 44–45), great joy (v. 46), and evangelistic zeal and success (v. 47). Great power in the Christian life springs from Christian fellowship, so we neglect it to our own detriment. In the bonds of Christian fellowship, our affections for Christ and His church are stirred.
The Puritans understood this. They practiced what they called “conferencing.” In Puritan thought, a conference was intentional religious conversation designed to stir up affections for Christ and apply biblical principles to life. Conferences were, as Edmund Staunton described, “gracious discourse and holy communication [that] mutually impart each to other for their edification, and spiritual advantage.” This is how the Puritans thought that the spiritual graces are best cultivated. William Gurnall said it well:
Converse with the saints that have the Spirit of God in them. They that would learn a foreign language associate with men of the country whose natural tongue it is. Wouldst thou have God and learn to speak heaven’s language? Associate with those who by reason of their heavenly nature will be speaking of the things of God. It is true, they cannot propagate their spiritual nature; but it is as true that the Spirit of God may take the gracious discourses which they breathe forth the means of quickening thee. While thou art with such, thou walkest in the Spirit’s company.
We learn to think, speak, and love like Christ when we spend time with His people.
The Puritans believed that through regular religious discourse, saints could draw out, as it were, the spiritual treasures that the Spirit has wrought in the hearts of other saints. In the spirit of Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another,” they believed that heavenly-mindedness was kindled through holy conversations, or conferences. They understood that doing theology and living the Christian life was easier—in fact, possible only—if done communally. Individualism is not conducive for lasting progress in holiness. If the Spirit indwells and works in others’ hearts, it’s nonsensical that we would not intentionally seek to hear what they have received. On the other hand, we so often keep to ourselves that which the Holy Spirit has allowed us to savor. Thomas Watson exhorted: “Have you tasted the honey of the Word? Let others have a taste with you.”
In a world where we may count thousands of “friends” on social media yet few who truly know us, the concept of deep fellowship feels foreign. The Proverbs weren’t unaware of this world: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). It is easier for us to scroll through general updates on the lives of people we hardly know than to sit at the dinner table of a church member. But the various “one anothers” in Scripture remind us of our obligation to foster and the great benefit of Christian fellowship. For the Christian, there is comfort, support, and love in the fellowship of the saints that cannot be found elsewhere—whether digitally or face-to-face.
“Sure, but I have not the time to enjoy such fellowship,” we might say. Appointments and meetings abound. When we have free time, we want to spend it with those we really want to be with. The Lord has made provision for this in the Sabbath. This day isn’t for idle amusement but for holy rest and holy worship in holy fellowship. When we come together for worship, we join together on the heavenly “Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven” (Heb. 12:22–23). Such a glorious gathering, grounded in the blood of our covenant Mediator (v. 24), empowers fellowship when we come back down the mountain. Our blood-bought bonds can find expression in numerous ways down the mountain, whether we share a meal, prayer, time of Scripture reading, or simple conversation. There’s no formula. The important thing is that our fellowship with the Son grounds our fellowship with one another, as the Apostle John writes: “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:6–7).
While isolation whispers promises of safety, true Christian fellowship promises more. If there is safety in the arms of the Lord, is there not also safety in the arms of His bride? Of course, our table fellowship here and now will always be imperfect. Sometimes it may even be awkward. But it points to a day—that Day that is drawing near (Heb. 10:25)—when brothers and sisters from every tribe, tongue, and nation will gather for “the great supper of God” (Rev. 19:17). That fellowship will be perfect.