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Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
Four of the Ten Commandments, Christian theologians have argued throughout history, focus primarily on our relationship to God. These are the first four commandments, which forbid idolatry, graven images, and taking the Lord’s name in vain, as well as enjoining Sabbath-keeping. Commonly, Reformed Christians have referred to these four commandments as the first table of the law. The other six commandments have to do with our relationships with other people. These have often been called the second table of the law, and the first commandment in this division is the fifth commandment, which calls us to honor our fathers and our mothers (Ex. 20:12).
Clearly, the first concern of the fifth commandment is the family. God established the family as the foundational institution of human society, and His institution of the family goes back to creation itself, when the Lord created marriage and tasked humans with being fruitful and multiplying (Gen. 1:28; 2:18–25). Our Creator instituted for our good and His glory the one-man/one-woman marriage relationship as the normative environment for the production and raising of children (see also Matt. 19:3–9). The fact that some groupings of parents and children do not include both a mother and a father because of tragedy or outright rejection of the creation order does not eliminate the standard that the Lord has established or our need to encourage and support the formation of families according to God’s paradigm.
The call to honor our parents includes such duties as love and obedience to their lawful authority. A blessing is attached to this commandment: it will go well for God’s people when they honor their parents (Ex. 20:12). Matthew Henry comments, “Those that do their duty to their parents are most likely to have the comfort of that which their parents gather for them and leave to them; those that support their parents shall find that God, the common Father, will support them.”
Moreover, theologians have noted that the fifth commandment not only establishes authority and obedience in the home but also grants it to two other foundational institutions for human society: the civil magistrate and the church. It is easy to see the connection. If people do not honor their parents, they will not respect other authorities. Augustine of Hippo comments: “It’s your parents you see when you first open your eyes, and it is their friendship that lays down the first strands of this life. If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?”
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Western culture is experiencing a crisis of authority, and much of it is due to a neglect of the fifth commandment. Many parents do not think it proper to expect their children to honor them, and many children therefore do not respect their mothers and fathers. Christian parents, especially, should look for their children to obey their proper exercise of authority.
For Further Study
- Deuteronomy 27:16
- Proverbs 20:20
- Romans 13:1–7
- Ephesians 6:1–4