Not Prideful, Rude, Selfish

After showing the Corinthians why love cannot exist where envy is given rein, Paul declares that love “does not parade itself [and] is not puffed up.” In a way, he is saying that just as it is not loving to envy, it is not loving to behave in a way that might make others envious. In short, a loving person is not boastful or prideful.

As we discussed earlier this month, the book of Romans has given us a crystal-clear image of who we are—sinful rebels against God, and yet beloved and redeemed. Still, Paul felt the need to exhort the Romans not to think of themselves too highly (12:3), for he knew the inherent pridefulness of the human heart. This is a particularly acute struggle for contemporary believers, for our culture is engrossed in the pursuit of self-esteem. Certainly we would be wrong to despise ourselves. God values us as creatures that bear His image. And He tells us to love others as we love ourselves, indicating that there is nothing wrong in loving one’s self in terms of caring for our bodies. But we simply must remember that all that we are and all that we have is from Him. We are not free to flaunt our talents, possessions, honors, or deeds before others. This was the behavior of the Pharisees, whose “righteous” acts were revealed to be sheer hypocrisy when the true righteousness of Jesus appeared.

Such behavior is inherently rude. And yet Paul adds as another characteristic of love that it “does not behave rudely.” To do so is to show disrespect or to be demeaning toward others. Instead, we are to be courteous and polite in our interactions with other people. Our Lord Jesus was always courteous, never rude, to the people He encountered, and so should we be. We are called to show love, and that rules out rudeness.

Both pride and rudeness generally flow from a focus on the self. Thus, Paul next moves to show that this very focus is out of tune with love. Love, he writes, “does not seek its own.” In short, love is not selfish. It does not desire what another has, be it a possession, an honor, an ability, or anything else. On the contrary, it is generous. The loving person gives of time, money, or his own goods to help another. This is how the Father has loved us, giving His only begotten Son for us. If we would emulate His love, we must be givers as well.