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Genesis 2:24–25
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Studies have pinpointed some of the main causes of marital breakup, including sexual incompatibility, money struggles, and problems with in-laws. But the number one cause, by far, is a breakdown of communication. This makes perfect sense, for if communication in marriage is not what it should be, the marriage relationship cannot be what it should be. The very word communication comes from the Latin prefix com, which means “with” or “together,” and the root word unio, which means “to be at one.” Thus, communion is a coming together into unity, and communication is a tool that brings about such unity, the essence of the marriage relationship.
When the Bible speaks of a husband and wife becoming “one flesh,” it is, of course, referring to the sexual relationship. Husbands and wives should joyfully and freely join their bodies together regularly. But “one flesh” also reminds us that husbands and wives are to enter into a profoundly deep degree of communication that is more than physical. They are to be working toward a unity of purpose, of mind, and of understanding, and communication is the tool that makes that happen. It isn’t easy, of course. Miscommunications, misconceptions, and misperceptions abound in every human relationship. But communication is crucial to the success of marriage, to realizing the “one flesh” nature of the marriage covenant.
It is no coincidence that Genesis 4:1, in telling us of the conception of the first child, Cain, states that Adam “knew” his wife. Moses is not naively saying that Eve conceived merely by becoming acquainted with Adam, and neither is he using a euphemism to avoid speaking openly of the sexual relationship. Instead, he is communicating a profound truth—that sex, a husband and wife lovingly joining their bodies, is communication on a profound level of intimacy. Sex, according to the Bible, is not just a physical appetite to be satisfied on a superficial level among strangers. Rather, it is a profound method of communicating for a husband and wife who already are coming to know one another on many deep levels. Through this and every avenue of communication available to them, the husband and wife open themselves to one another. Thus is the ideal of marriage realized—deep union between two people.
Coram Deo Living before the face of God
Does it ever seem as if your spouse can read your mind or that you can read his or hers? If so, rejoice—you have achieved a significant level of knowledge of your spouse’s habits and preferences. But do not rest on your laurels. Continue to seek to know your spouse and to open yourself to him or her. Communicate in every possible way.
For Further Study
- Genesis 24:67
- Genesis 29:30–34
- Proverbs 31:11
- Proverbs 31:28–29
- Matthew 19:6