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When I was little, I used to be surprised when I’d notice my dad cry during a movie. I’d think: “Why is he crying? It’s just a movie.” But then I got older, and I started to cry during certain movies, too. I remember that it surprised me, and I had to ask myself: What changed? Well, I got older. Sadness is often closer to the surface as we age because we’ve experienced the reality of heartache, and old wounds linger. We’ve been through trials and suffering, and we know how fragile and fleeting life can be. Sometimes we refuse to cry at all, though—whether during movies or in real life. Some Christians believe that when the Bible says, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10), it means that we are always called to smile, to say, “Everything is going to be OK,” and to never dwell in sadness. While some believers may indeed have a greater measure of joy than others, close readers of Scripture will realize that the Bible never suggests that followers of God are happy and smiling all the time. In fact, it teaches the opposite: that those “who mourn” are blessed (Matt. 5:4). It calls us to follow the One who was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isa. 53:3). So while the joy of the Lord is our strength, that doesn’t mean that we’re constantly smiling. Rather, it means that we are familiar with the griefs and sorrows of this world and know where to find true strength—in God. We’re called to cast our burdens on Him (Ps. 55:22) and even to lament the terrible state of this fallen world (Rom. 8:22–23).
There’s a deeper problem, too, when we deny sadness. It’s not only that we ignore the Bible’s invitation into a sanctified sorrow; it’s that we distort our understanding of life itself. If things are happy all the time, where is there room for hope in the next life (vv. 24–25)? If everything is simply “fine,” how can we weep with those who weep (12:15)? If we refuse to look at what’s negative, how can we ever look at the cross—a Roman instrument of torture and yet the means of our redemption (1 Cor. 1:18)? To live fully before God—to glorify Him in all that we think, say, and do—doesn’t mean being happy all the time. It sometimes means being sad. But it’s not the sadness that the world knows. The world sees no hope in sadness because the world has no salvation. Christian sadness is different. It is a sorrow that bends toward hope. It’s a true weeping over fallenness, sin, and death, yet light seeps through around its edges because we know what the future holds. Someday—though it remains mysterious how this can possibly be—God will make everything right. “He will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes, and death shall be no more” (Rev. 21:4). And in the presence of the Lord our joy will be full (Ps. 16:11).