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Protestants rightly orient themselves toward the church pulpit. That’s not only an architectural feature (the central, raised pulpit) but a personal disposition as well. “Good” Protestants understand the need to embrace the pulpit. “How are they to hear without someone preaching?” (Rom. 10:14). The pulpit is the mainstay of the spiritual diet of believers. Visitors do well in attempting to discern a pastor’s character and competence before committing to a church. As essential as preaching is, however, the individual’s relationship to the pastor is ultimately not going to be the most telling factor of that member’s eventual spiritual health. That deserves some explanation.

In my two decades of ministry at the same medium-sized church, it’s been hard to miss certain patterns in how people connect within the body. There are those who have an other-member orientation and, conversely, those who maintain a pastor orientation. On the whole, one seems to be less healthy than the other. Yes, a pastor should consider another vocation if he thinks associating with him produces spiritual decline. But it took only a few years of my pride being chastened before I realized that those members with whom the pastors spent the most time tended to be the least spiritually healthy and happy among church members.

Again, to clarify, members should have high expectations for their pastor. They should expect competence in explaining the Word, adeptness in making applications, and a degree of relatability. Members should likewise experience the pastor’s shepherding efforts and have confidence that he’s available for occasional personal counsel. But individual members don’t do well to seek the pastor’s audience after every sermon. They shouldn’t expect him to engage in personal correspondence on a regular basis. They are unwise to want to be frequently found in his study. That kind of relational narrowness is disproportional to the church body and speaks to an unhealthy focus. Remember, the pastor is not the True Vine but a mere branch (John 15:1). He is not the Head but a member of the body with a particular function (1 Cor. 11:3; 12:27–30). It’s one thing to expect the pastor to be a model of godliness (1 Cor. 11:1); it’s quite another to see him either as a conduit to God (2 Cor. 5:18) or as an associate to elevate your personal status (1 Cor. 1:12).

Fellowship and intimate connections are vital means of grace.

Those more orientated to other church members generally function more fruitfully. First, it’s apparent that they rightfully see the church as a family (Mark 3:31–35; John 19:26–27). Family is an enduring relationship. Fellow members get prioritized and members also learn to be comfortable with receiving a reasonable amount of attention. Second, those who connect more “laterally” are also those taking an interest in others (1 Cor. 10:24). Regular member relationships are more reciprocal. The more natural mutuality of ministering and receiving tends toward selflessness, whereas pastor-oriented people often over­emphasize their own personal needs or importance. Third, being more member-oriented makes much more sense of the Apostles’ unavoidable emphasis on “one anothering.” By my count, the New Testament presents almost sixty different “one another” commands, three-quarters of which are obligations to act positively so as to live with or carry out a duty toward others in the church. That refrain presumes life lived closely together. Fourth, of those positive “one another” commands, a full one-third are commands to “love one another” (e.g., 1 Thess. 4:9; 1 Peter 4:8–10; 1 John 4:7, 11–12). Any reasonable student of the New Testament can see that the Christian life demands living closely with others and serving sacrificially. Lord’s Day corporate worship requires a kind of others-orientation (1 Corinthians 14 makes clear what happens when self is elevated), but that’s a mere fraction of the expected community life for believers. The level of engagement indicated by the New Testament simply can’t be satisfied by slipping in during the prelude and racing to the parking lot after the benediction, never mind worshiping at home. Fifth, in addition to the “one another” statements, there are those hospitality commands that play so vital a role in the advance of the gospel: Matthew responded to his calling by inviting his friends to come feast and meet Jesus (Matt. 9:9–13). Christ sent the Twelve and the seventy to minister in homes (Matt. 10:5–15; Luke 10:1–12). In the intimacy of a house, Jesus explained His parable to the disciples (Matt. 13:36). The disciples of the early church were known for breaking bread in one another’s homes (Acts 2:46), and the Apostles “did not cease” to preach and teach “from house to house” (5:42; see also 12:12; 16:15, 32; 28:30–31). Closeness to others in the church and welcoming strangers are merely keeping in step with Scripture.

Simply put, fellowship and intimate connections are vital means of grace. Our Reformed forefathers knew this and codified it by saying, “Being united to one another in love, they have communion in each other’s gifts and graces” (Westminster Confession of Faith 26.1; see also Belgic Confession 28, Heidelberg Catechism 55, and Second London Baptist Confession 27.1). So ask yourself: Am I a devotee of a preacher, or am I a member in the body? Is my connection to the church for personal therapy, or do I belong to a covenant community? Finally, consider whether you are hearing the exhortation (perhaps through your preacher) to

grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Eph. 4:15–16)

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