December 2024
Resolving Conflict and Pursuing Reconciliation
by Ken Jones
City on a Hill
December 2024
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Conflict among fallen sinners in a fallen world is inevitable. This is because in our fallen state we are at enmity with God and no longer enjoy the fellowship with Him experienced by Adam and Eve before they sinned. Broken fellowship with the Creator resulted in conflict and disharmony within the created order. In the immediate aftermath of the fall, God tells Adam, “Cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field” (Gen. 3:17–18). In other words, the duties incumbent on Adam from creation will now be met with resistance. But even before announcing the difficulties that Adam will experience in working the fields, God informs Eve in verse 16: “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
The intimacy and harmony intended for human marriage will now be experienced against the backdrop of tensions that invariably lead to conflict. And what is true for the most intimate of human relationships is true for every other relationship among fellow image bearers of God. Vertical disconnection with the Creator, whom we are to love with all our heart, soul, and mind, has resulted in horizontal disconnection from our neighbors, whom we are to love as ourselves.
Granted, we find ways to navigate through most of our surface conflicts so that our relationships are functional. The fact remains that conflict and dealing with it are a huge part of being fallen humans living in a cursed creation with other fallen humans. It should also be noted that while we find ways to manage our conflicts, we also live in a moment when conflict is a profitable commodity that is dominant on just about every media platform. The things that divide us and the things that we don’t like about others are dangled before our eyes like carrots on social media and cable news, triggering outrage and indignation.
Here’s our challenge as Christians in this moment: although we know the source and reasons for the conflicts in the world, we are called to pursue a path of peace. As noted above, we understand that the ultimate source of human conflict on a horizontal plane is the consequence of our vertical disconnection from and enmity with God. That being the case, our salvation is set forth in terms of reconciliation and restoration:
If while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. (Rom. 5:10–11)
Brothers and sisters, the language and logic of the New Testament is that our being reconciled vertically to God is the basis as well as the resource that enables us to pursue peace and reconciliation in our horizontal relationships. In Romans 12:18, we read these words: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” No, it is not always possible in a fallen world to live peaceably with all people. There will be irresolvable conflicts between those who have been reconciled to God through Christ and those who have not. This is the two-seed conflict that God speaks of in Genesis 3:15. As believers, we are still to see and treat others as neighbors and equal image bearers of God. At worst, this two-seed conflict can lead to physical persecution and even death for the servants of Christ. Most Christians will not experience the threat of death because of our faith. Instead, we find ourselves in a culture increasingly hostile to the things of God. We are often ridiculed for our faith and “antiquated” notions of God. This is the world that we inhabit and in which we are to live peaceably as much as it depends on us.
The Apostle Peter seems to reflect the delicate balance of pursuing a path of peaceful coexistence in a world that is hostile to God and to the things of God:
Even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:14–15)
Pursuing this path of peaceful coexistence is even more urgent within the ranks of our fellowship. Even among those who have been reconciled to God through Christ and are of the household of faith will experience disagreements. It is incumbent on us to deal with conflict within the fellowship in ways that reflect God’s reconciling grace—to love one another as Christ has loved us and to forgive one another as we have been forgiven by God through Christ.
The bottom line is that we who have been reconciled to God through Christ have also been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18) and the message of reconciliation (v. 19); therefore, we ought to be the practitioners of the same both in the world and in the church. We cannot allow our handling of conflicts and disputes to be co-opted by the ways of this world. I close with Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 13:11: “Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”